Loved and Be Loved

I'm trying not to be emotional as can be right now. i'm gripping on to the malady i'm going through. 


Read all his notes about me and i want to cry my heart out!


It was so full of love. blissful. romantic. seems like it's gonna be forever.
We were so happy then, we both shared the same feelings for each other. 
 Looking back to where we were, it was just so nostalgic. 


My tears started rolling on my cheeks. 
My eyes were burning. 


What went wrong then?
Why is everything so hard?
Why do I need to deal with this crap just to be loved? 


Didn't expect so much of these to happen. 


And look at us now... :'(

Ash tray

The only reason why I created this title it's because this is the only thing that's right in front of me and that has seem to get my attention.


It does not relate anything that i'd be posting here.


I'm sleepy. My head is starting to ache again. Internet was just reconnected and here I am enjoying it. 
Maka-adik.


This is a good and not so good addiction.


I got nothing much to say. my head is really in pain now. so that means I need to sleep!


Ciao!

Boredom

Just came from a Two day vacation and it had gotten me totally restless.

I'm here at the office, facing this wide screen again, in Stoic. My stuff is on the side placed in chaos. Staring at this blinking cursor, my fingers are just starting to type what goes in my mind. 

I missed blogging. I guess fashion Icon Bryan Boy has inspired me again of blogging. Thanks to her. Yes, HER, with a mannish name. I dont want to talk about her since she has already been talked about in this topsy turvy world of blogging. This has been my everyday life until Jack came into my life. Jack isnt his real name but I'd rather name him that rather posting his real name here.I realized, I should have something to keep for myself. And this is what it is all about. I created this blog as a start of recollecting myself. Starting anew.

Call me submissive, but yes I am. This submission has brought me into this sweet tragedy. I was almost broken in to piesces and I thought i could not patch myself back into whole. But here I am, call it FREEDOM!

Good start and we're on the 2nd month of the year! So bring it!

Screwed

I knew I lied.

I knew it can be worst than I expected.

I've seen this coming.

I thought I was prepared.

I thought I can get through it.

I thought I was ready.

Then, I realized, I was only over thinking. I did not listen and my conscience has been killing me.

Here I am again, posting this blog after a year of struggling the kind of relationship I've wished for.

Cliche as it has always been, Be careful what you wish for coz you might just get it. And yes I did!

It was one hell of a struggle. I had to lie. I had to gulped all the bitterness I have to go through. I didn't have anyone to talk to. Didn't have anyone to share with what I am at right now.

Too clueless of what's going to happen next. Is this make or break? Again, I promised. But I am not really sure If I can keep up with the promise. Am i ready for change? It's soo easy to say YES. But it's just as hard as doing it.

Well hell yeah. If I have to over think again, then i might just do the same thing. and then be screwed.